Few people will actually admit to being pessimistic. I suppose some do, wear it like a badge of honor and consider it their own special, superior way of looking at the world. I've known so many people, though, who disguise their pervasive pessimism as simply their way of viewing the world "realistically." "Well, it wasn't going to happen for me anyway," they'll say, or "I like to go into things thinking they won't work out so I won't be disappointed." I'll nod as if I understand, but secretly part of me is going crazy. I've never understood how some people consider this to be a productive mindset. If you truly believe things aren't going to work out for you, subconsciously you'll put less effort into them. When you put less effort into things, they don't turn out as well. Oh wait, isn't that called a self-fulfilling prophecy?
What kills me about the "I'm just being realistic" viewpoint is that I believe we create our own realities. Yet, so many people talk about "reality" as if it is some vague external thing over which they have no control. It makes their pessimism sound reasonable or even logical. However, I think what's hiding beneath the surface and beneath all the intelligent-sounding excuses people have to look on the dark side is one simple thing: fear. What are we afraid of? We are afraid of failure, of looking stupid, of being rejected, of having our hearts broken, of losing those we love, of not meeting our goals, of inconvenience, of hard work...the list goes on and on. Simply put, we are afraid that if we allow ourselves to hope, our hopes will be shattered and we will get hurt. This is understandable. Getting hurt sucks, and we all know it. The thing about having something not work out is this, though: is it really enough to destroy all of your remaining hope? Does one failed idea mean the end of your career? Does one bad race mean you're hanging up your shoes? Does one broken heart mean you've given up on being loved? I mean, that's a little dramatic, isn't it?
I'd much rather be optimistic and take the hit sometimes than go through life always expecting the worst. The way I see it, so much of life is learning how to take a hit. Granted, there are points in life where we end up feeling like we're professional boxers, but even then--is it really that bad? So one thing--maybe even a couple of things--fall through. I guarantee there is still something going right. There's still something that'll make you crack a smile. Something that will get you through. You had a bad day at work, but you had a great workout. You're so frustrated with school, but your roommate showed you this really hilarious video clip. You got turned down by somebody you like, but realized what wonderful friends you have. Life is about finding your "buts" sometimes. I'm all for realism, but don't use it as an excuse to forget about the good things in life. Maybe some people will say I'm simplistic, or easily pleased, or don't take life seriously enough. And that's just fine. Those who know me well enough know that I too have those things that mean so much to me and that I'm afraid to lose. But I'd rather take my gamble and live in the sun than spend my life in the shadows.
