Expectations. We've all got 'em. Endurance athletes in particular are obsessive about their expectations. Good performances are wonderful, but most triathletes barely take the time to bask in the enjoyment of success before heading back to the drawing board to figure out what's next on the agenda. Structured schedules and meticulously planned split times and workouts are the norm for many endurance athletes. And when it comes to racing, many of us get worked up into such a fervor that we choke when we need to perform the most. It is my theory that it's all because of expectations. What, exactly, goes into forming an expectation? Most of us can remember the first time we raced a particular distance. Whether it was a first 5k, triathlon, half marathon, or half Ironman, odds are it was a pretty positive experience because of the lack of lofty performance expectations. However, the mental state of mind upon repeating the same event is very different for most endurance athletes. They reason, "I know I can do X, which means that next time I should be able to do Y." Here is where the problems begin.
At this point it might seem like I'm railing against having goals, but stay with me. Goals are great. They give us specific things to strive for in our training and provide us with purpose. Some people may not agree with me, but I think there is a distinct difference between having a goal and having an expectation. I would argue that a goal is a specific accomplishment to strive for whereas an expectation is an emotional self-evaluation tied to the attempt to meet the goal. It's the difference between waking up on race morning and saying, "I want to run a 3:20 marathon today and am going to give it my best shot," and thinking "If I don't run at least 3:20 today all my training will have been for nothing." Such harsh self-judgments are all too easy for endurance athletes to make, and having high expectations seems almost second nature.
However, lately I've realized that sometimes the best things in life are those that you have no expectations for. Yesterday I woke up to go for a run, but was hacking up a lung the entire morning. It was one of those mornings where just making it out the door was a victory. I didn't know how far I was going to make it and certainly didn't expect it to be fast. I ended up running for an hour and feeling great. At one point towards the end of my run, I could feel all my biomechanics lining up for once and actually felt efficient and on top of my stride, things that are difficult for me to accomplish even on a good day! The point is, it's so much healthier for us as athletes to let go of the expectations and simply do the best we can on any given day, whether it's a training day, racing day, or recovery day. Goals are awesome guides, but we should never turn a goal into an expectation or something to "live up" to. Do your ultimate best to meet today's goal, but at the end of the day find peace in the fact you gave your best rather than stressing over the results. Triathlon is a huge part of what makes us who we are, but should never completely define who we are. We get many chances to race, but only one life. Don't spend yours worrying about what will be or might have been.
