Obsession. Is it always a bad thing, something to guard against? I guess the merits or dangers of being obsessive depends on what you’re obsessing about. I know my personality is obsessive and addictive. I’ve just now conceded this. But I’m not addicted to drugs or alcohol…I’m addicted to endorphins and success. Once I set my eyes on something, it takes a very long time for me to forget about it. I can’t get enough of this feeling when I train and race. It’s the rush of adrenaline, the feeling of power when I’m feeling good, the feeling that I’m flying and could take on the world…there’s nothing that I know of that could ever replace that. Addiction in general is considered by the public to be something to guard against, stay away from, and be wary of. But those same people applaud and celebrate athletes who display obsessive dedication to achieving the highest levels of success in their sports. And so addictive and obsessive behavior is at the same time found to be both disgraceful and admirable: it just depends what you’re addicted to.
A memorable motivational video I recently watched claimed, "You have to want success more than you want sleep." This certainly rings true for triathletes: 6:30am workouts and 5:30am race days are staples of our schedules. These kinds of workouts build mental toughness and discipline, not to mention endurance and strength. However, our obsession sometimes can lead to the mistaken impression that we can do it all. And that's the problem with only having one speed. "All or nothing" is draining. It can sap your energy, optimism, and social desires. Always living life on "go" can exhaust you so completely that it's hard to recover. Passion is a much stronger emotion than logic. At times, it's almost overpowering. And without passion, many of the good things in life would be meaningless. However, it is something to be careful with. I can't speak for other athletes, but for me, the logic vs. passion battle is one I wage practically every day. These two often contradictory feelings define how I train, and more broadly, how I live my life. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that what is good for you and what you really want are usually on opposite ends of the spectrum. As frustrating as this can be, it's probably for the best. Without logic, it would be very easy to get carried away and end up injured and emotionally depleted. And without passion, it would never be possible to reach the goals you've dreamed of. Often hitting the famous "runner's high" can make you feel invincible. But the important thing to remember is once your head comes back down from the clouds--you're still mortal.
